When you have something you want to change in your life and you set out to make that change a key in being successful is to BE CONSISTENT in the moments of your life in being that change.
The actions we take on a daily basis have to do with so much more than just choosing in that moment.
Our deep subconscious beliefs lead to our conscious beliefs which lead to our thoughts which determine our actions which then lead to the final result.
It can be very complex.
I highly recommend working with a coach (moi!) or therapist that can help you dive deep into this amazing maze of beliefs, thoughts, actions and results at least during one focused period of your life. I work with many people at two specific times of their lives. One, is in their mid 30s when life is getting a bit more complicated with work, kids, family- real-life reality sets in and it’s often not as they imagined. Two, is during mid-life when again there are many transitions such as becoming an empty-nester, retiring or changing jobs and the reality that half their life may be over and more.
I use a beautiful system called my Categories of Life Journey where for a few weeks we dive into each category of life and all our subconscious beliefs, conscious beliefs, thoughts, actions and final results related to each category.
We then cultivate the true self vision for each category and we start to change the beliefs, thoughts and actions so that you can get the results you desire in each category.
Honestly, it’s super powerful. Connect with me if you are ready to dive into this experience.
Once you discover the beliefs, thoughts and actions you need to be taking daily so that you can create your desired results your job is to be super duper CONSISTENT!
You will not be perfect. Old habits, old mindsets, old patterns will pop up over and over and over again and your job will be to notice them and consciously choose your new belief, your new thought, your new action that will lead you to your new amazing life.
This will take a long time! I’m not going to sugarcoat it. Research shows it takes at least 45 days of committing over and over and over again to make it a habit but I think it takes even longer than that.
In my 20 years of experience coaching and through my own life journey and healing journey I know that it takes:
- a plan.
- setting daily intention.
- making mistakes.
- feeling the messiness of being in the midst of change.
- coming up with solutions when what you thought would work does not.
- coming up with solutions when you keep making the same mistakes.
- writing everything down in a journal.
- recommitting multiple times per day.
- visioning and feeling into your end result.
- a support system of people that have your back.
- professionals to guide you.
- and more.
It takes a village. It takes time. It takes patience.
You are literally rewiring years of brain synapses that are used to functioning in a certain way. Years of hormones and chemicals being released in a certain way. Your ego-mind and physical body are literally craving the stress and depression and let down and all the other yucky stuff you are trying to change that it is used to- all for the sake of comfort and the known. And you are reaching into the unknown and uncomfortable while changing.
As you commit more and more and more the new beliefs, thoughts, actions and results will become your norm. Your brain synapses, hormones and other chemicals in your body, nervous system and everything will crave the new ways- and it will be the known and comfortable.
So if you have tried to change something without a plan, without support, without the knowledge from all the science of change that we know, without the knowledge of the science of neuroplasticity and without everything i listed above….. it makes sense that you may have failed.
But know that you don’t need to fail any more. There is a simple process- its not always easy but it is simple- to help you get from where you are now to where you want to go.