I never intended to go on a healing journey but that is just what I needed to wake up to my true self, my purposes and the life I was meant to live. That is what i believe a healing journey is for people- it’s an opportunity to wake up, heal the things in all areas of your life that need to be healed and then live life radically as your true self!
Prior to my journey I was the practitioners helping others heal. When my pelvic pain started I tried to solve it all on my own. I knew I could solve it on my own because I was the practitioner. I went to school for healing, my life revolved around health and wellness and I thought I didn’t need anyone else. Well I was wrong.
After a few months I finally realized I had to fully surrender! I didn’t know exactly what that was I just knew that what I was doing was not working and I was feeling more and more anxious and stressed. So I said to the Universe and my higher consciousness, “I surrender. I give this to you my higher consciousness. I give my healing to you. Please help me know what I need to do next. What is my next step to feeling better and healing. Please guide me. I fully surrender.” Or something to that effect!
Then I had to learn to just BE. Just BE and notice. My job was becoming more aware, sitting in silence more, connecting with me, getting to know me, getting to know the sensations in my body, getting to know and understand my emotions and what they were guiding me to do, be or say. I had to learn more about mind body healing. I had to learn about the whole mind body emotion soul system. I learned that this journey was about more than my physical pain- so much more! I started to get curious. I felt that this was me surrendering more to this journey.
And I did not do this alone. Very soon after I surrendered people, courses, books and more came into my life…. my psychotherapist, my pelvic pain coach, my mind body coach, my physicians, my energy guru, continuing education courses and programs on functional nutrition and medicine, energy work, meditation, visualization and more! I sensed and felt my next step with each moment.
Gradually I felt more and more peace on the journey. I was not alone. I had support. I started to share my story with friends, family, practitioners, clients, patients… everyone. As I shared my story more and more I realized that this is my story – not something happening to me but it is my story. And I have the power to write my story every moment and my story for the rest of my life.
Meditation and visualization with my mentor Dr. Joe Dispenza was a huge part of my healing journey. It helped me to live in the feelings of the future healed version of me and keep that vision alive, rewire my brain, calm my nervous system, connect with others on healing journeys who chose to go deep into energetics and alternative realms and to go into the unknown. A huge step forward in my healing journey was going on meditation retreats. Getting outside of my typical life- getting out of my own way!!
That was an affirmation during my journey, “I choose to get out of my own way”. I knew it was aspects of who I was and the choices I had been making that led me to exactly where I was- in pelvic pain. So I also knew that I had the power to become someone new- the person that could get out of the pelvic pain. During our retreats we spent days and hours going deeper and deeper and then I would come home and stay that new person I became- shedding old masks , revealing the true aspect of me.
This was becoming fun! Seriously, I became sooooo curious about the process. I was so aware of all the little lessons that were brought to me daily. I became aware of all the magic and miracles that are right in front of us and if we are not aware they fly right by us. But don’t get me wrong- in the midst of all the “fun” I was having there were still moments of frustration, anger, resentment, confusing emotions I had never felt before, the desire to just be done with this and move on with my life, grief, shame and more. That is why I needed my support system. I could not do this alone and I knew that the moment I surrendered.
I knew that all my thoughts were not my true-self thoughts and I needed help getting out of my own way many of times. I learned strategies and tools that I got to practice on me! I experimented with things I read about in other people’s healing stories that helped them- some worked for me and some didn’t. I was open and willing to experiment. And that is a huge part of the healing journey. Experimenting on ourselves. Each and every one of us has a different cultural background, childhood experiences, parents (and all their stuff), soul needs, physical needs, subconscious patterning, nature influences and more. We are all so different that what works for me may work for you or it may not.
I had to learn to be strong with my fails. To not blame myself when I failed or made a mistake and there were plenty of them! It was just part of the journey. If I was not failing and making mistakes at times I was not moving forward on my journey.
On a healing journey it can sometimes feel that feeling comfortable and safe are the goals so then you get stuck in a place of fear to do new things or try new things. I had big fears that over the years had been programmed in me subconsciously and I had to do a lot of work to rewire my brain- practice practice practice!!! It takes time!!
I needed the right people telling me, “you got this Kelly, I see you, I hear you, one step at a time, it gets better”. With my support system I could choose to notice when I was holding myself stuck, take a chance and notice the outcome. The next moment I could choose again and again and again. And like I said it was not always easy. There were many tears, freak outs, emotional breakdowns. But I had my team and my tools and strategies and I was armed with an arsenal of possible solutions and I was willing to experiment with them.
Now I believe we are all here at this time in the Universe to heal- to become whole. We are all here to heal our stuff. To address each portal of life, take off our masks, become more of our true self and then share our lessons and fulfull our purposes in this life. I believe physical healing journeys are the catalyst that wake so many people up because physical pain can often not be ignored. You physically can not go on with your life as it was, doing what you used to do because you physically can’t. And you can’t often hide a physical issue or physical pain.
Pain is just a message saying, “hey, something in your life is out of alignment”. It could be a physical imbalance or it could be an emotional imbalance, mental imbalance or your marriage, your job, where you live, the people you surround yourself with, subconscious stuff and more.
“Community is the guru of the future” by Thich Nhat Hanh and I’m here helping to unite those of us here to shift the paradign!!! Please join me. My healing journey helped me to become me- I had to learn who I was and what healing was all about through the experience of witnessing what it takes to heal from a really broken place and alone at first. I don’t want anyone else to do it alone at all. I believe by talking about the real stuff and sharing the real stuff including stories, dark truths, emotions, real potential solutions, strategies that work, the science of change, the art of metaphysics, the science of community and support- we can all heal more! We can become more of who we are meant to be and help heal the world.
But we all need to get real and choose to stay real in the moments of our lives. No more drifting along in the mainstream systems and ways of being. No more doing things just because that is what you think you should do. No more taking the medications just because your doctor says that is the only solution. No more thinking the solutions are outside of you when truly they are within you always.
I promise you that if you say yes to a healing journey, whether you have physical pain or just know something is off in your life, you will not regret it! You will look back and know that it was the greatest decision you ever made.
With my support0